she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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