On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
