Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
