I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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