Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
