but the lizard people decide everything anyway
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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