He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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