fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
