You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
