And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
