He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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