That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
