Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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