OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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