he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
As shirtless as possible
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
