Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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