I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Randomize
