Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
