The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
