I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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