that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dignity is for republicans.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
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Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
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I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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