I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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