hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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