cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
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you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
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No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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