no, he came in my armpit
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
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Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
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I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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