is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
