what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
