I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize