oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
