I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the day after is always just damage control
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
