ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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