her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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