he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
