Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
