I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
