my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
