mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
