Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
