Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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