I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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