Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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