Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
