OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We're too hungover to prance.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
