2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
