he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
