I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
