Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
