Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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