I CAN MOONWALK!
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
