Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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