Its about making memories worth repressing
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
