shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize