New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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