I think my vagina is haunted
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
