you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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