It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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