Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
