The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
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You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
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I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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