john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
