Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
