Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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