goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
