It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
