its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
